all over the map

The past couple weeks have physically been a breeze, but emotionally I'm a bit of a wreck. I think it has quite a bit to do with D.Roland and everything to do with the weather. It's a seasonal dip I struggle with every year at about this time when I crave warm weather, sun, and falling asleep down by the lake but am living day after day of cloudy skies, freezing temps, and 4:30 PM sunsets. This is probably the hardest thing (and best thing) about living in Minnesota, and I know there are far colder places than St. Paul, but when I stopped to pinpoint exactly what was making me so sad I realized it was just a matter of not seeing blue sky in what-feels-something-like-40-million-days. And the constant act of bending over to towel off the dog so he doesn't drag snow into the house. Nothing too tragic, but it was enough to make me start yelling obscenities at a carton of soy milk because I couldn't get the safety cap off.

Usually, this isn't the case. I love the winter, the cold, the snow, and all the bundling up that is Minne-snow-ta. But for some reason, the negative digit degrees just hasn't sat well with me lately. Maybe it's the being stuck instead because going out always involves way too much energy, layers, and time. It's probably a combination of any and all of the above factors.

In other news, tonight as Liz, Michael and I were leaving our wonderful chiropractic event the snow was falling in the most beautiful way... the kind that makes you feel like you're in that clearing of the woods scene of the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe movie and your life is about to get much more interesting...

:]

these random thoughts courtesy of my lack of sleep...

where do my days go? they all run together and i find myself, yet again, not updating my blog as often as i would like.

these don't go hand in hand. but they're all on my mind. let's get down to it.... bears... i was looking over cuteoverload today (as per my morning ritual.... 1. gym 2. coffee 3. cuteoverload) I came across this handsome fellow. how comfortable does he look? where is he? Alaska? wherever he is, that's where i want to be. he looks so comfortable and im in need of that right now.

Apple... I applied to work at the new Apple store opening down on Grand Ave, for something to do while im still deciding what "i want to be" and "how i want to live my life" and all that philosophical stuff. i will soon get started on the twenty-10 marketing campaign for the studio but i still have more time on my hands, so I figure, what better place to get inspiration and encouragement than amongst other Apple-fanatics?

as I was rummaging around for traces of my old resume (that badly needed updating, mind you), I did stumble upon a box of mementos from the last decade, and tucked inside an envelope full of indecipherable notes from best girlfriends and old boyfriends were prom pictures with Ryan, with Neal, and with Justin. i let my mind wander a few steps down memory lane for just a second, and then i snapped back to reality, because i like it better here. ;]

the present is where im living and thats where im staying. on a lighter note, i'm always looking for great music to add to my iPod, something upbeat and energetic, something to motivate my workout, and recently I discovered the band Vedera (they were the warm-up before the Fray a few weeks ago that Michael and I saw). their songs are the perfect soundtrack to an adrenaline-fueled heartbeat. i love, love, love it, love working out to it, love playing it in the car on the drive to the groomers.

a few lines from their song Loving Ghosts goes a little something like this:

"I don't know how long I've been here
the days all run together
You're gone but you won't disappear
Traces of you will last forever
It feels like...
If I hold my breath you'll walk in any second
and tell me it was all a mistake, cant believe that you left and
It haunts me to hold you this close
but hurts me more to let go
That's why I'm still loving ghosts
They say I should get on with my life
but I can't even get up
I'd rather believe in this beautiful lie
than admit you're really gone forever"

And yes, I think the reason this one resonates with me all too well is because of D.Roland, nevertheless; great song and great memories.

Apparently I'm in the market for a Valentine coming up here pretty quick. Any takers? Any one else being left alone, in the cold, on what is supposed to be a romantic evening spent with your significant other?... You know the number to call. But, in all reality, I shouldn't even care about this Hallmark holiday. That's what it is right? Just a glorified day for spending inordinate amounts of money on boxes of chocolates, bouquets of flowers, and expensive dinners at the hottest restaurants downtown.... this girl would be happy with something much more low-key. a romantic movie and homemade spaghetti. jeez, i don't care, forget the movie. let's be serious, all I want to do is spend Valentine's Day with Michael.

But you know what? You don't always get what you want, and I understand that. I'll get over it. I always do. In the meantime... here's my desperate cry for a Valentine....... :]

sunshinehawaiian: defined

the name for this blog is a combo-platter deal. i love the sunshine. and im part hawaiian. no, i don't know which island my father's side originated from, but it still runs through my veins. so it still counts.

and sunshine, in all forms, is amazing.

my favorite is the fall-asleep-in-the-living-room-with-the-rays-shining-on-my-face-during-an-afternoon-of-blissful-dreaming-after-a-delicious-pancake-breakfast kind of sunshine.

but really, ill take it any time, any where, any day.